It's Tuesday night about 10 PM and I put my son down for the night at about 8:30. I'm trying to get him off going to bed with a bottle at night so I tried feeding him some stage three jar food before putting him down. He played for a bit and then went out like a light. I'm hoping that I fed him enough that he'll sleep throught he night without issues because I have to be up for a dental appointment at 8 in the morning. Right now I should either be in bed or reading for my classes but I'm not doing either one. I'm just curious what time my husband will decide he feels like coming home tonight. Twice now he's gone out, once to one place and didn't bother to call me to tell me he was changing venues and that he planned to be out more then just the original 'couple of hours' he mentioned before he left the house, and the second was his jaunt to go fishing with a buddy around noon, he told me after the fact that they got off the water at 6 PM and he didn't get home til almost 10 PM. Talk about seriously pissing me off. I'm like really, where the hell does he get off? You can't make a phone call to tell me what the hell is going on just in case something is going on in the house? Am I that unimportant that you just go about your merry way like you don't have a damn care in the world or anyone at home waiting on you? Is you son that unimportant to you that you would just show such a lack of consideration as to stop and mke a phone call. At this point I'm at the end of my rope with this bullshit and if he does it again I will leave him. This kind of crap I don't need. It's one thing for him to be on deployment and unreachable but for him to be just down the fucking street and act like he can't even pick up the fucking cellphone and call me and say 'hey babe I'm heading over to XYZ place for a few hours is that ok?' just kind of pisses me off. Apparently he just assumes that I'm ok with him being all over town getting drunk. Then he will sit at home and get drunk and accuse me of cheating on him when he's the one who doesn't want to be in the house.
On a personal level I'm having issues with my libedo and my overall appearance. I don't feel any kind of attractive and I have no real desire for sex. Its not just that I don't want to have sex with my husband, its more a case of I could care less if I never have sex again. At this point when I need to relieve tention in that department I do a better job by myself. My sex life hasn't been all that great for a few years now. I mean hell we have our moments where I actually see stars but it takes a lot of effort on my husbands part to get me there. He really doesn't want to be bothered putting in the effort to romance me and I just don't feel much of anything when he decides he's PMSing and needs to fuck or he'll bust apart. All that does is irritate me that he gets up the next morning with a shit eating grin on his face because he got laid and I get up in pain and disappointed at the previous nights events. I'm to the point where why bother?
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