Here I sit when I should be working on school stuff getting ready to vent about my husband and his insecurities. Thanks to all the bullshit and garbage from him I've decided to drop one class and go back to taking one class per term so that's 1 class every 10 weeks and I have 20 classes to go before my degree is completed. So I was going to take Easter Sunday to find a quiet space to go and work on reading for both my classes and work on posting to discussion boards and get both my papers started that are due this time next week. Well when I told Josh I was doing this on Sat. after he came back from being gone to a 'fair tax rally' with a 'buddy' of his for 5 hours he blew up at me and of course had the whole accusatory demeanor that I was going to screw around on him. Really? Are you that fucking insecure and controlling that I can't even go and find a quiet baby free space to get my school work done when you make the time to do all your shit at work because you get to fucking distracted at home with your computer games? Then of course I'm suppose to be ready to fuck you on demand when there is no sexual enjoyment in it for me. everything is about him. At this point everything is lip service on my end. His idea of an apology was sex at three in the morning yesterday. His idea of an I'm thinking about you card was something having to do with me being naked. I want to know what the hell happen to the guy who used to like spending time with me just hanging out riding around, going to used book stores, flea markets and Renaissance Fairs? Where the hell did the I just want to hold you and be with you guy go? What happened to the person who used to like curling up on the floor or sofa together to just read? Where the hell is the guy who needs to step up and be a dad? Yes his work is important and it keeps a roof over our head and food on the table but when he comes home his decompression time should be with his son and not his computer. Don't get me wrong, I spend more time on the computer and in front of the television then I should but my husband LIVES FOR HIS COMPUTER. I at least get up and tend to my son when he needs me. I don't sit and try to ignore him thinking he's being whiney. If I leave Eric with Josh for any length of time so I can give myself a bit of a break from going stir crazy I'm immediately dumping my son off on him. Seriously you act like I'm leaving you with someone else's kids.
So of course I'm the one who set up an appointment for myself to go to counseling because at this point I need someone to vent to who just might give me some perspective on why my husband acts like such an immature fucking jerkoff.
Your words are good advice to all husbands that are on the verge of driving their marriages into a rut - and drive their wives away from them as well. I hope your situation gets better. I was faced with the very same issues with my first marriage but I resigned myself to ultimately being happy, with or withour her. As it turned out, it was without her.
ReplyDeleteGood luck.