Chillin with the inlaws....

Every so often I hear horror stories of families that just can't seem to get along.  I'm not talking about the internal family stuff, that crap happens to everyone and most of the time the issues are forgotten about or just gotten over and for the post part the family starts talking to each other again.  My sister and I are a prime example, she and I fight like hell and have totally different points of view on just about every thing in life.  What I'm talking about is the inlaw situation when the inlaws absolutely make every effort to keep the spouse at a distance or cause a lot of tension between the married couple.  I guess hubby and I are blessed in that his parents and siblings like me and my family likes him.  We each talk to our parents about internal issues because even though we are adults we look for love, support, guidance from our parents.  Thankfully each set of parents gives us a place to vent without telling us what they think we should be doing and with out making every attempt to make bad or rough issues between us even worse.  We are truly blessed that our son gets to see at least one set of his grandparents on a rather regular basis and he also has one great-grandma and one great-grandpa still living.  I'm thankful that both these grand parents have a fairly clean bill of health and do the best they can to take care of themselves.
I bring all this up because currently hubby and I are at his dad and stepmom's and they treat me like I belong which is wonderful.  They've never made me feel awkward or out of place.  Now do we each have traits and such that make the other crazy?  Sure we do.  But I often tell people if you can't accept me at my worst then you don't deserve me at my best.  I truly am thankful for my family both near and far not just today but every day.  I look back on the life I have and the life that could have been and I must say, taking the road I was meant to take is looking really darn good from where I'm standing.  Letting go and letting God seems to be making a huge difference in my life.  With so much that I've been through and all the people that have come into and gone from my life I have to say that God put me with the right people at the right time.

Boo Hoo and bitching about duty days....

Seriously how is it you are going to fucking bitch and piss and moan about the fact that your husband has to work an over night duty?  How are you going to bitch about him being gone on deployment?  Why don't you shut the fuck up and be greatful that your husband is working a FULL TIME JOB WITH BENEFITS?  Your stupid ass isn't having to pay medical bills out of pocket.  When your husband is in off crew he's often home at a decent time and you have weekends to hang out and do shit together.  Think about the other alternatives, he could be working a minimum wage job with no benefits and long hours.  He could be unemployed all together.  He could be a cop or EMT working crazy ass shifts and constantly on night shifts where he's sleeping most of the day and gone all night and doesn't get to do much with the kids.  He could have a job where he's working double shifts constantly and you never see him.  You KNEW when you got involved with him that he was working for the US Military and that he didn't have a normal 9-5, home on weekends type of job so if you knew and felt you were going to have such an issue with it WHY THE HELL DID YOU MARRY THE GUY?  Seriously take your pissy, whiney asses out and get a job and a life and find things to do with other people on the nights your husband is on duty.  Get a book club or a card group together and have a game night, get a knitting or crocheting group together or something and spend a few hours with friends before and after the kids go to bed to keep yourself occupied.  OK end of rant!

Wishing you a happy birthday...

Wow, it's hard to believe it's been 15+ years since you've been gone and just how much has happen in all of that time.  I think of you often and wish you were still here to see your great grandchildren and the lives your son and grandchildren have made for themselves.  Every time I feel the need for a little latin spice in my life you come to mind and I wish we had shared more dances together.  Funny all the stuff Melissa and Vinny went through after their father died and they both seem to be getting their lives back on track.  Lis is a Ms. Fix It like her daddy and Vinny is driving truck for a living just like mine.  It's funny how influenced we all were by our fathers.  I hope Uncle Nestor and Aunt Mildred are doing well with you.  As for dad he's hanging in there.  I thought a few times over the last several years he'd be joining you.  Thanks to Grandma's love and care he's still kicking.  Yeah dad and grandma share living space with a huge black beast of a cat named Shadow.  Mom and Odie are also sharing living space, that's an interesting and often frustrating living arrangement.  Odie has three boys, the youngest was recently diagnosed with a mood disorder that he's had since birth.  Josh and I we're hanging in there.  At the moment he's home with me from school til after the new year and then back to the grind.

HAPPY 90th BIRTHDAY!

Santa and I are shacking up again...

So the school here is quite involved in the community and they take time to help out the under privileged.  Not sure if the school adopts a shelter or what ever the case is, but Josh will be dressing up for a function tomorrow morning and I've had to help him make some adjustments to the suit and the padding.  This should be an interesting get together.  I'll have to be sure to get some good pictures to post.
Tonight we went out with another couple to a Japanese sushi restaurant and I ate sooooooo freaking much I'm STUFFED!  Earlier in the day we did an expeditionary visit of Toys R Us to figure out what kind of stuff we were getting for the kiddo for Christmas.  I knew the stuff I wanted to get him I wasn't going to find very easily at Walmart.  He's gotten heavy in to sword fighting and is using a mega lego as a shield and a noise making boom stick as a sword.  Thank God for the inventors/creators of Nerf.  We were able to find sword, shield and a Thor's Hammer that are all foam!  Score and we are getting him a large tool bench set and a bean bag chair something that is washable.  Why the sword fighting, because he's been watching How to Train your Dragon, Zelda for the Wii, Jake and the Neverland Pirates and other programs or games that have him interested in swords very much like his father was at an early age.  His grandfather also go him in to playing Wii Golf and for Christmas got our lil guy a set of kids golf clubs, YES, REAL golf clubs.  Those get to stay at Grandpa and Nana's house and he can only use them when he goes to play golf with his Grandpa.

Yes we are...

going to be trying to have another baby.  I have some things I need to get taken care of health wise then we'll be good to go.  I'm just thinking about the insanity of having a newborn in the house again.  I'm excited and terrified at the same time.  The environment and home are different this time, the common area flooring is tile and not carpet.  For sure I'll be hunting down a rather large area rug for the livingroom.  Right now I'm holding off on telling family any thing about the possibility of having another baby.  After having hernia repair I had some concerns about the mesh holding up and the possibility of developing another hernia and what kind of complications that might cause during pregnancy.
I've also got things going on with me being in school again, Josh coming home in a couple of days til after the new year should be an interesting dynamic again.  I've also been staying up later at night in order to avoid the need for prescription sleeping pills.  I'm just a hot mess at the moment.  My house is upside down and of course Eric is a major contributor to the chaos.  I guess I should be counting my blessings that my son is healthy enough to be creating such insanity in my life.  In the mean time round and round we go.  Crazy trips back and forth to the school and then to the inlaws then home then back down to the inlaws then home.  Ha all the work we have to do while we're here.  A good laugh, some of the tomato plants survived the jungle effects of the grass and there is acutally stuff growing.  Go figure.  I think the lower temps outside killed our alvocado plant/tree before it had time to adapt to being outside.

That time of year again....

Dear Liza,

Where do I even begin, it's hard to believe that it's been almost 3 decades since your passing.  Next to my cousins you were one of my very first friends.  I think of you often but most especially this time of year.  Some times the time that I spent with you just before your passing seems like it was just a dream.  I recall snippets and clips in my dreams of you asking my mom if she had cut all her hair off because she had it pulled back in a ponytail, me sitting beside you reading to you as you lay on the sofa.  I often wonder if we would have stayed friends all this time if God hadn't taken you so soon.  I wonder what you would say about all the directions my life has taken.  How much would we have shared?  Would we have found a way to stay in constant communication or would we have lost touch?  So much I think about, wondering where your life would have gone.  To this day I still can never express what your friendship and kindness meant to me through the rough spots in my childhood.

Your friend forever,
Cyn

Thankfully our bills are clear....

but wow did the money go fast.  $1500 toward Josh's credit card, $405 toward property loan for FL land, almost $800 for our mortgage on this house and Josh got paid between his retirement and his BAH for school about $3000, so of the $3000, $2700 went to bills.  Now I'm suppose to stretch that other $300 til next payday.  I might need to borrow on the card again just to make sure Josh has spending money for the next few weeks.  Looks like no real Christmas for Eric this year.  Also looks like I won't be moving down with Josh while he goes to school.  I'm hoping that he's able to take some kind of internship down near the school instead of having to come back up here and work/look for work.  He's going to need the experience for when he's done with school and if we are seriously going to build down in FL then his best bet would be to, stay in that area and work, and build up a good network of contacts down there for when he's done with school.  Ha much as Josh hates to play the politics game looks like he's going to have to get it together and learn to play the game to get anywhere.  This will also reflect on him down the line.  My other issue is a couple of his 'friends'.  One in particular that needs to get his head out of his behind.  He's got manners and behaviors that are atrocious and at some point I have a feeling they are going to get him locked up.  He's going to have himself in a situation where he will not be allowed to take the bar exam and there goes all that time wasted in school when all he wants to do is party.  He's got relationship issues on top of it all.  Just don't understand all that BS.  Was nice to visit with Josh and hang out for the week but I'm sooooooooooooooo glad to be back home.  I've got too much of my own stuff going on to give a good rats ass about anyone else.
On another note, Josh's roommate really is a sweet guy and he got a really crappy deal with the neighbor next door.  He gave his all and she wasn't even remotely interested.  I'm so sorry for him.  I really wanted to give him a hug but wasn't sure how he'd take it.  I just hope he can keep an open mind and that he realizes the girl for him is out there and that she may not be the most pristine person on the planet.  He may meet the girl who he can keep from going in to a clinic to have an abortion, and she may realize that he is the right guy for her, the one she's been looking for in all the wrong places.