Yes we are...

going to be trying to have another baby.  I have some things I need to get taken care of health wise then we'll be good to go.  I'm just thinking about the insanity of having a newborn in the house again.  I'm excited and terrified at the same time.  The environment and home are different this time, the common area flooring is tile and not carpet.  For sure I'll be hunting down a rather large area rug for the livingroom.  Right now I'm holding off on telling family any thing about the possibility of having another baby.  After having hernia repair I had some concerns about the mesh holding up and the possibility of developing another hernia and what kind of complications that might cause during pregnancy.
I've also got things going on with me being in school again, Josh coming home in a couple of days til after the new year should be an interesting dynamic again.  I've also been staying up later at night in order to avoid the need for prescription sleeping pills.  I'm just a hot mess at the moment.  My house is upside down and of course Eric is a major contributor to the chaos.  I guess I should be counting my blessings that my son is healthy enough to be creating such insanity in my life.  In the mean time round and round we go.  Crazy trips back and forth to the school and then to the inlaws then home then back down to the inlaws then home.  Ha all the work we have to do while we're here.  A good laugh, some of the tomato plants survived the jungle effects of the grass and there is acutally stuff growing.  Go figure.  I think the lower temps outside killed our alvocado plant/tree before it had time to adapt to being outside.

That time of year again....

Dear Liza,

Where do I even begin, it's hard to believe that it's been almost 3 decades since your passing.  Next to my cousins you were one of my very first friends.  I think of you often but most especially this time of year.  Some times the time that I spent with you just before your passing seems like it was just a dream.  I recall snippets and clips in my dreams of you asking my mom if she had cut all her hair off because she had it pulled back in a ponytail, me sitting beside you reading to you as you lay on the sofa.  I often wonder if we would have stayed friends all this time if God hadn't taken you so soon.  I wonder what you would say about all the directions my life has taken.  How much would we have shared?  Would we have found a way to stay in constant communication or would we have lost touch?  So much I think about, wondering where your life would have gone.  To this day I still can never express what your friendship and kindness meant to me through the rough spots in my childhood.

Your friend forever,
Cyn

Thankfully our bills are clear....

but wow did the money go fast.  $1500 toward Josh's credit card, $405 toward property loan for FL land, almost $800 for our mortgage on this house and Josh got paid between his retirement and his BAH for school about $3000, so of the $3000, $2700 went to bills.  Now I'm suppose to stretch that other $300 til next payday.  I might need to borrow on the card again just to make sure Josh has spending money for the next few weeks.  Looks like no real Christmas for Eric this year.  Also looks like I won't be moving down with Josh while he goes to school.  I'm hoping that he's able to take some kind of internship down near the school instead of having to come back up here and work/look for work.  He's going to need the experience for when he's done with school and if we are seriously going to build down in FL then his best bet would be to, stay in that area and work, and build up a good network of contacts down there for when he's done with school.  Ha much as Josh hates to play the politics game looks like he's going to have to get it together and learn to play the game to get anywhere.  This will also reflect on him down the line.  My other issue is a couple of his 'friends'.  One in particular that needs to get his head out of his behind.  He's got manners and behaviors that are atrocious and at some point I have a feeling they are going to get him locked up.  He's going to have himself in a situation where he will not be allowed to take the bar exam and there goes all that time wasted in school when all he wants to do is party.  He's got relationship issues on top of it all.  Just don't understand all that BS.  Was nice to visit with Josh and hang out for the week but I'm sooooooooooooooo glad to be back home.  I've got too much of my own stuff going on to give a good rats ass about anyone else.
On another note, Josh's roommate really is a sweet guy and he got a really crappy deal with the neighbor next door.  He gave his all and she wasn't even remotely interested.  I'm so sorry for him.  I really wanted to give him a hug but wasn't sure how he'd take it.  I just hope he can keep an open mind and that he realizes the girl for him is out there and that she may not be the most pristine person on the planet.  He may meet the girl who he can keep from going in to a clinic to have an abortion, and she may realize that he is the right guy for her, the one she's been looking for in all the wrong places.

WTF is wrong with some people???

I know of someone, who is coming in to quite a bit of money soon. Funny how she talks about family in all the wrong ways. While her child was living at home she did nothing but complain about how they did nothing to help how they were slacking in school and their grades were not up to par. When they decided they wanted to go out of state to college she wasn't happy with him going out there. She griped and complained about how they needed to grow up but she never did things to allow him to grow up. She always seems to be bailing them out of something. She gets all sanctimonious about how they need to be doing this and doing that. Turns out they left home not necessarily to attend college but for other reasons. They left so they wouldn't have to deal with the parents. 

Thanks to a friend

Earlier today I was reading a friend's blog about her situation with her ex and the kids and I found myself thankful for where I am in life.  Josh and I met in July 1999 and have been together since.  Some times it's hard to believe it's been 12 years.  I should be thankful Josh likes his women a little on the crazy side.  We dated on again off again for 4 years before both taking orders that eventually took us both to Guam.  December 2002 six months after I arrive on Guam Josh and the crew of the USS San Francisco arrive on island.  Josh and I got married March 10, 2003 and its been one heck of a roller coaster ride ever since.  God knows our relationship  isn't perfect and we have had our fair share of blow ups and threats of separation and divorce and disagreements about how to parent our child.  Josh and I each have our own ideas about what it means to be a parent.  I am more interactive with Eric on a regular basis and Josh kind of keeps his distance because he feels as a parent he can't be both friend/playmate and disciplinarian.  I can see and understand the logic in that but at the same time I don't want Eric to be so afraid of his father that he can't approach him and talk to him about things.  He should be looking up to his father and wanting to be like his father and not be afraid of his father.  Maybe he should be concerned that his father will be disappointed in his choices and actions but not afraid that his father will hurt him or hate him.
When I met Josh he was a hard drinking, hard living sailor who thought no harm no foul as long as he didn't do harm to anyone else.  I stood by him even though I didn't quite agree with how he was living.  He has recently had to make some choices to change the way he was living because it did have an effect on others around him.  His faith and his belief in God has strengthened and he's made changes to better himself and by extension to better the life of his family.  We've had some rough patches in all the time we've been together but they are smooth by comparison to others.  I guess some would say we've lived a charmed life.  We've been lucky enough to have a solid life.  We've worked hard.  I'm able to stay home and care for my son full time because of decent money management.  We have three vehicles fully paid for and in decent condition.
Currently Josh is attending law school out of state full time and we can afford it because of a scholarship and his GI Bill benefits.  I'm still able to stay home with Eric instead of having to go out and work full time just to make ends meet.  His retirement pay covers two mortgages, car insurance, and other bills and still leaves funds for me to grocery shop when needed.  The payment he gets for housing allowance from his GI Bill goes directly to pay his credit card.  We are working with much less then he was making when he was on active duty but I'm doing well with making it work to our benefit.
I have so very much to be thankful for.  We are truly blessed to be where we are in life.  I know there are people who are better off and worse off then we are.  The reason our situation is stable is because we are both very cautious about how we approach things and we put our faith in God.  If He brings us to it He will bring us through it.

Spending time with the love of my life

On Friday last week I drove down to Naples FL to spend time with my love while he enjoyed a long weekend.  I left here around 9 AM and got down to him by about half past 4.  We ended up doing dinner at IHOP instead of out with his henchmen on Friday night.  IHOP turned into an experience.  We got there and they were so understaffed that the wait staff was bussing tables and doing dishes and no manager was on premisis, so it took Josh getting up and letting someone know we were at the table before we got service.  Poor waitress was so stressed out and felt so bad that we were waiting.  Took a while to get our meals as well because the kitchen was under staffed.  It was nuts, any way we both finally got our meals after waiting over an hour in an almost empty restaurant and what happens?  Lightening strikes a transformer and knocks out the power so I get to eat dinner in the dark.  On the upside dinner was free that night!
Saturday we got together with one of Josh's buddies and his fiance for a trip to the beach.  What a great location it was, nice calm area for Eric to swim and splash around.  They also have it set up as a dog park and Eric enjoyed playing with the four legged fur balls!  That evening was group dinner out.  Incredible lobster at a pound and a half for $20 couldn't beat it.
Sunday we kind of got ditched so Josh and I went to the flea market in the area and walked around for a bit.  We went into an upscale dress shop because Josh saw a dress he thought would compliment me both in color and fit.  I don't think he realized the caleber of the dress shop when he had me try the dress on.  Apparently he really liked the way the dress looked on me and the way I looked in the dress because he had no hesitation about buying the dress even after he found out it was almost $200.  He gets out his credit card to make the purchase and the sales lady is a total flake, isn't sure how to install a fresh roll of paper in the credit card machine, so Josh helps her and has the paper inserted the wrong way so when she goes to run his card and print out the reciept it doesn't print out on the paper.  Turns out the ink only shows up on the one side of the paper.  Of course she's not fluent in how to use the machine so after they get the paper turned around and test to make sure it's printing she doesn't know how to pull up the transaction we made for the dress and confirm that the transaction went through and was pending payment.  So we paid for a dress and walked out of the shop without the dress (situation resolved).   Asked Preston if he'd be willing to keep an eye/ear on Eric while he slept so we could go out for a date night.  While we were out we ran into one of the couples at one of the clubs and had a great time.  Was nice to be out and about town with my sexy husband.
Monday was a hang at the dorm kind of day.  Hang out at the dorm for a while and get a call to head over to the apartment complex of one of Josh's buddies cause they have a community pool and we can all hang out. We get there, only there about half an hour and the other two couples totally bail on us and tell us to call them then they don't answer phones or their front door. We head back to the dorm have dinner with Josh's roommate Preston and just hang out.
Tuesday I have a chance to hit the school bookstore and buy a shirt for myself and a shirt for my mom before Josh heads to class.  Thankfully he only had morning classes and we were able to spend the afternoon together hanging out and I was able to go to one of the local nail salons and get my nails done.  The person who worked on my nails tore my fingers up and didn't clean up the areas where I had lifting.  Just pissed me off didn't give him much of a tip and it cost me $25 to get the work done where as here at home for a fill and repair it would have cost me $20 and the job would have been done correctly.  Snuck in some ColdStone Creamery while I was down there as well.  Josh is located in a great area, right up the road from him is Walgreens, Publix, Blockbuster, chinese food, italian food, Subway, Starbucks, a dentist office, and a decent size hospital.  What I need to check on in the area is a public park/play area for Eric.
Life is truly good and God has truly blessed us that we are able to be in two separate living spaces and make all our bills and not have to worry about being so excessively in debit that we will be paying off loans for the next 30 or 40 years.

Well looks like I'll be taking a break!

So I was on academic probation the last couple of terms because I've taken two classes twice each so far because I've failed them.  Partially because of depression, physical illness/surgeries, and laziness.  So the school set me up to retake one of the classes for a third time and I had been in class, had started posting to the class then they totally dropped me out of school all together this term.  I'll have to talk to academic advising and see what they say about re-instating me in school.  If they say no then I'll deal with it.  Unfortunately life got in my way.  I was hoping to start off strong and I totally screwed myself.  My GPA must look like absolute hell.  Each time I take a class even if its the same one it counts toward my over all GPA.  If I was smart I would have taken a break after that Psychology class where my final grade was a D+ and just regrouped myself.  Before that I had 3 As and 4 Bs and was doing OK.  Just kills me that so much happened over those 4 terms.  Sad part is that's all over this least year cause each term is 10 weeks I have failed the last 4 terms now and who knows what's next.  Guess I'll write more about my own academic issues when I know more.

In the mean time, Josh will be starting up down in Naples by Tuesday.  We are currently at his dad's and we've got the stuff in the dorm room for him to take care of when he gets down there.  Let me tell you that drive totally sucked balls.  I sure as hell would NOT want to do that again any time soon.  Don't know how often I'll be coming down for a visit based on how much work he'll be doing and how busy he'll be.  He's got a pretty decent set up.  His room has an en-suite bathroom with a stand up shower and a full size tub, large sink, with lots of counter space and toilet.  He also has a door from his room to the third floor balcony.  He has not one but TWO closets and one of them is a walk in closet with more then enough room to put his clothes and a dresser if he'd like to have one.  The other closet in the room I think was suppose to be a laundry.  I'm guessing the school originally was suppose to be a time share space, maybe, because it's set up almost like a timeshare kind of deal, two bedrooms with common living and kitchen space.  With the full size bed he's got enough room to put his desk in his bedroom.  The livingroom area has enough space for a large kitchen table, a full size sofa with end tables and a few lamps.  His bedroom also has a ceiling fan so he won't roast.  I'll tell you what, when I come down to visit I sure as hell won't be doing the he-man drive straight through deal.  I'll probably stop every hour and a half or so to get a breather and stretch my legs and such on the trip down.  The drive back by myself is totally going to suck.  I'll be taking my time heading back up as well.